The smaller male, approached the large female spider very cautiously. Testing the 'air', he stood on 'tip-toes' in order make himself appear as large as possible and began to wave his 'palps' at his prospective mate, doing his best not to get it all wrong and end up being eaten by her.
The female was eying him seemingly with some apprehension and clearly would have preferred to make a meal of the male.
Not to be deterred, the male spider waved furiously at her while she just became more and more bored with it all, before running off and leaving the poor old chap looking, shall we say, a little cheated.
Shortly afterwards, another spider crossed the patio - it seems as if our garden has become a sort of arachnid M1 lately. This time, it was a crab Spider (Xysticus erraticus) and, on closer examination, it showed some remarkable patterns and colours.
Now, lets have a Valium and look forward to the nightmares which will inevitably follow this foray into spider morphology.
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